


My Bimmortals

by Ranusoren



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Fluff Squad Assemble, M/M, fluff squad, gdi why am i posting this one first, its a parody lmao, mentions of cutting, my immortals, nothing triggering in here i think, some death?, that about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4050622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranusoren/pseuds/Ranusoren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My immortals</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Bimmortals

**Chapters 1 & 2**

Chapter 1.

  
AN: **_Forgive me father for I have sinned_ **   


 

Hi my name is Bill Will.I.AM ihaveahugePenis Cipher   and I have short blonde hair (that's not how I got my name btw) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my shoulders and bright yellow eyes like THE FUCKING SUN and a lot of people tell me I look like Satan (AN: if u don't know who they is get da hell out of here!) and a big ass triangle birthmark on my left asscheck. I'm not related to Steven Hawcings but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a demon but my teeth are straight (but im not) and white. I have darc tan skin. I'm also a whorelock, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and bright ass yellow eyeshadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of weebs stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Bill!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Dipper Pines!

"What's up Diper?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me whyareyoureadingthiz!

Chapter 2.

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my portal that goes to hel and drank some of the souls of the broken from a bottle I had. My coffin was as bright as the god dam sun and inside it was as black as the deepest, darkest pits of hell  with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant t-shirt that had a hug as eye on the front of it like god dam which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather lingerie (Im a huge slut), a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and spiked my hair up so i look like a rocker cid.

My friend, Suzu (AN:Lurkerss dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-shit eyes. She put on her Creature t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots that could probably stab a bitch to deth is she tryed. We put on our makeup (shit colored lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Diaper Penis yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Dipper?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Dipper walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Rick Astley  are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love Rick Astley. They are my favorite band, besides JB

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped. Then started to shit everywhere becase i wa so excite

 

**Chapters 3 & 4**

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY WEEBZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN SUZU! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Rick Astley.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I  made me hur look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing mango while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some Rebecca Black . I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was tan and that would look weird as shit anyway. I drank some human tar so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Dipper was waiting there in front of his wagon. He was wearing a Lincoln Park t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and  eyeliner that covered half of his god damn face (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Dresser!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Boner." he said back. We walked into his black wagon (the license plate said 666) and the horse took us to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Rebecca Black and Trolololo. We both smoked pocky and snorted pop rockz. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the ball pit at the front of the stage and played wit balz as we listened to Ric Assle.

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." sang Rik (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Rick is so fucking hot i wanna tap dat azz." I said to Dipeer, pointing to him as he sung, filling da daycar wit his amazing voice.

Suddenly Diaper looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we twerk to music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Deck sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Dick and he's going out with Lady god damn Gaga. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Dippr. After the concert, we drank some VIAGRA and asked Rick for their autographs and photos with he. We got Rick Astle concert tees. Deerpr and I crawled back into the wagon, but Dipper didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the wagon into… the Forbidden Forest!

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok Bills name is BONER nut mary su OK! DIPPER IS SOO IN LUV wif he dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DIPPER!" I shouted. "What da fuck do you think you are doing?"

Dressr didn't answer but he stopped the wagon and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What da fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Bill IM HORNEE FRUM DA VIAGRA WE DRUNK?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Dipper leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic brown, shit colored eyes eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I  kissed me passionately. Dresser climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my lacey yellow brah off. Then he put his pine tree into my triangle shaped asshole and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my tan body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….GUNKL STAN!

 




Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Grunke Sternum swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

Grunkle Stan made and Dipper and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of tar down my tan as shit face. Dresser comforted me. When we went back to the castle Grunkle Stern took us to Professor Mabel and Professor Wirt (thats right, I added Over the Garden Wall in this bitch) who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor Maplel.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Squirt.

And then Diper shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HE!"

Everyone was quiet. Grukl Stan and Professor Saple still looked mad but Professor work said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Dick and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Bill?" Dipper asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels that could stab a bitchs eyes out. When I came out….

Fucker was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live this moment' by Pitbill and some other chick the fuck if i know her name. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black really short miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it that only covered my nip nops and high heeled boots that were black because im a fucking skank. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two upside down crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple because im a boss ass bitch.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Lucky Charms cereal with tar instead of milk, and a glass of red tar. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the tarspilled over my top. OH HELL NAW DIS BITCH DID NOT JUST RUIN MY GOD DAMN TOP 

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky blue hair with purple streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing bright blue  lipstick like holy fuck is that coral blue number five. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing shit color brown contact lenses just like Dippers and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Duggar. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a boy so I did get one and mMmMmM i wanna tap dat ass..

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned sexily, staring at da booty.

"My name's Willy the Pooh, although most people call me Will these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because Its my god damn name you fukin idiot." he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really? THAT HAD ABSOLUTLY NOTHING TO DO WHAT I JUST SAID" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Dipper cum up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

 

**_SOMEONE STOP ME_ **

 

 

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

 

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Boner isn't a Marie Sue ok he isn't perfect HES A SATANITS! n he has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

Dipper and I held our pale white hands (no bitch i have tan skin) with bright ass yellow nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in yellow nail polish even though that doesnt match but why the fuk would i car im a satan tit  (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Will. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Dresser. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Dinner. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black lacy brah because im a slit and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his pineus  in my triangle asshole and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Dipper, Dipper" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Dippers arm. It was a blue pine tree . On it were te wurds… Bill is a slut!

I was so angry.

"You basturd!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Dragon pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have gonorrhea anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Dipper ran out even though he was naked. He had a really PENIS but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Wills classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Wirt and some other people.

"WILLY THE POOP YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

 

Chapter 8.

 

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do de prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Dipper came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Bill, it's not what you think!" Dipper screamed sadly.

My friend G'larnt Ruby Saphirre (THATS RIGHT MOTHAFUCKAS ITS SEVEN UNIVESE) smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her short-length gothic sqaure hair and opened her three eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had dark as shit skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Pearl was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are DEMOMS and one of them is a WHORE but Gidieon killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Saphire and not MOM. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor.)

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Professor Stuff demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Willly, I can't believe you cheated on me with Demon!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Boner was so mad at me. I had went out withWill  (I mean we're all males so what the fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck asshole) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Pacifica, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Dipper anymore u dumb hoe!" said Wilian.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Dipper and then I started to bust into tears.

 

Chapter 9.

 

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if Gruncle Tin Tin swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson Wirt dosent lik Will now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! REBBECA BLACK ROX!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Dipper for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Dresser.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with big ass black eyes and a big ass pig nose  and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick "ONIK OINK MOTHAFUCKA" He screamed quietly at me! He have a nose and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Gideon!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but thenGideon shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"ANUSEXPLODUS!" I shouted at him. Giden fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Bill." he yelled. "Thou must kill Willy the Pooh!"

I thought about Will and his sexah eyes and his gothic blue hair and how his face looks just like Josh Duggar. I remembered that Dipper had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Diper went out with Wil before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Gideon!" I shouted back.

Gideon`gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Dipper!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Gideon got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Will, then thou know what will happen to Diper!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Dipper came into the woods.

"Diaper!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing brown foundation and a shit ton eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Steven Hawkings and Obama.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

 

 

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out G'arnet squarememe isn't a muggle afert al n she n Will r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

I was really scared about Giden all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Ninja Sex Party. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between 5 seconds of summer, 1 Direction and Sleeping with Sirens. The other people in the band are G'arnet squarey, Willy, Dipper, Onion  (although we call him Oreo now. He has white hiar now with blak streaks in it.) and mcfuckit. Only today Diper and Well were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Dipper was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a DICKANUSHOLE too and the only way you can kill aDICKANUSHOLE is with a d-i-l-d-o (there's no way I'm writing that) or aANAL BEADS) and Will was probably watching a depressing movie likePitch Perfect. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my nipnots and tiny matching miniskirt that said SLUT on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

We were singing a cover of 'Nyan Cat' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Bill! Are you OK?" G'arnet squarememe asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Giddy came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Silly! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Diaper. But if I don't kill Will, thenSid, will fucking kill Dildo!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Dresser jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking posr FUCK bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Dipper started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Grunkle Sternum walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a DILDO UP HIM BUM.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) " Dragon has been found in his room. He committed suicide by shoving his dildo to far up his butt and it ripped apart him insides."

 

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend suzu 4 hleping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was whorrorfied! G'arent Pealmtried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself.Sturn chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a DILDO and almost stuck it into my TRIANGLE SHAPED PEE PEE HOLE to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Wirt was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Mapplen was masticating to it! They were sitting on their gigantic pubes.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Reggie Fils-Aimé on it. Suddenly While ran in.

"FETUS DELETUS!" he yelled at Squirt and Mabel pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Wit and Mabl a gazillion times and they both started screaming and bled everywhere because they suddenly started thier periods and the camera broke. Suddenly, Stern ran in. "Bill, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Twit and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

SUZU ran outside on her  big bewbs and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, suzu? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." suzu paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATAN TIT!" Suzu roared as hse buff out her chek, shoving her big bobs.

"This cannot be." BURT said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Corn wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Sap held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough tar.

"Why are you doing this?" Baby said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cock.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Suzu said and she paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped she in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffik?" Squirt asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with OBAMA.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no WIP iant jesus plus suzu isn't really in luv wif Boners dat was Greg ok!

I was about to slit my cocks again with the silver knife that Dragon had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS BOOZU but it wasSilly. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY BONER HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see hisBLACK TAR EYES.

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my boner turned back into the tentacle!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a boner anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Dragon changed it into a VERY DETAILED DRAWING OF A DICK for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my boner hurt and it turned back into the tentacle p0rn! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Diper….Gidcunt has him bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit pineus. Firt and Mabel and Suzu were there too. They were going to St. Pussy's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz.HUNKLE SAN had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Suzu came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of black roses.

"Bill I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped.Suzu had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Bill." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses and plus thier black u fukin idiot hoe."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me black roses.

"I saved your life and what the fuck did you even jus sai 2 mi!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Kim Kardachen p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Wurt and Sapple." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

  
He pointed his wand at the black roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY  ~~slut~~ ! .  


"That's not a spell that's an RB song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "ITS FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY(4 all u cool goffik REBECCA BLACK fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for SUZU I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Dipper?"

Suzu rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Pill," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Suzu yelled.SPECTRUM lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a dildo shoved up his anus hole or else he would have said something back.

Suzu stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof Stanee!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Britney Spears on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." G'arnet said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my penis feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the cum. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Wurm and Mabel couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes.  was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Dipper had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Dipper. He was being a hoe wif a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Holla back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Will had beautiful brown gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other in da butt.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNEE SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor Greg who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Will you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Dipper!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY BONER HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his BLACK TAR EYES.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a BONER anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Dresser changed it into a VERY DETAILED DRAWING OF A DICK for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my ass hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Durper….GIDICUNT has him bondage!"

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 SUZU MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY SUZU DO UKNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I

Chapter 13.

AN: Suzu fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of Steven Hawken but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

Ally and I ran up the stairs looking for Stan. We were so scared.

"Stan Spector!" we both yelled.Grunkl came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

"Gideon has Dipper!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Dipper!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Gideon does to Dupper. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Beth." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway. he was a fuck boy" then he walked away. Will started crying. "My Dragon!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of shit. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his pubes and ate them. Then… suddenly we were in cunt's lair!

We ran in with our sex dolls out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"

It was….. Goodin!

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off WEEBS ok! Suzu fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh dik uff. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

We ran to where Gid was. It turned out that FIDLEON wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Elen was. Dipper was there crying tears of blood. Aleks was torturing him. While and I ran in front of Aleks.

"Rid my sight you despicable weebs!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

"Huh?" I asked.

  
"Will I love you will you have sex with me in the butt?" asked Aleks. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard  ~~call me later bb~~ ." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Cum pored out of it like a fountain.  


"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly i was tots gunna fuk him latter 2.

"Aleks what art thou doing?" called Gideon. Then… he started cuming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our giant blow up sex dolls and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Will went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Dipper taking off his clothes so we could screw in da butt. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really PEPEUS and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other bois and weebs here except for G'arnet, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the weebs anyway. They are such fucking animo trash." answered Diaper.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Wirt and Mabel took a video of me naked. Suzu says she's in love with me and me nipnups. Will likes me and now even Aleks is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Dragon! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory Bill isn't a scrub or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes a fukin dumb) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

Chapter 15.

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 Suzu 4 hlpein!

"Bill Bill!" shouted Dipper sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Will!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my black eyed peasd key. It had a picture of triangle p0rn on it. It looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Dipper and Will. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my pe pe. I drank the cum all depressed. Then I looked at my black katy Perry watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

  * I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said illuminaughty on the front in blood bright ass yellow letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said James all over them with black letters. I put my piss colored hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloodycook into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Dipper!



"Bill I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker weebs and squids fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." Then…. he started to sing "Happy" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Pharrell Williams was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and high pitched and sexxy like a cross between Will Pharell, Lady Gagu, Nyan Cat, and Yolandi Visser  (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking weebs stared at us and breathed really heavy onto the desk but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Dippers's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like some slut (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a some stupid ass romance movie. Then we went away holding hands. Mapple shouted at us but she stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that Lincoln Purk would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

 

Chapter 16.

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!

We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. Lincum Park were there playing 'In The End'. I was so fucking happy! the bamd guy idfk his name looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Dipper thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Dipper was wearing a black baggy PePe t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated twerking to Numb. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, the band guy pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Giden and da Uned!

"Wtf Dpper im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its Rick ass n u no how much I lik them"

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talkhow he stuck his dinglie dong into mi dick portal

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Dipper promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the weebs?" I asked. "So I guess ur a weeb or a Christina perri or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"R u becoming a weep or what?" I shootd angrily.

"Bill! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing Burn it Down' by LP to me.

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

G'arnet was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Suzu that fucking weeb got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: SUZU U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Suzu will die too." I said.

"Kawai." H'ornet shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den Mabel did it with her cause he's a necphilak."

"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with dipper tonight in Hogsmeade with LC." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

G'net Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "G'rent are u a WEEB?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffik stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Dipper or Onion or Will (don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

"Grunk ." She sed. "Let me just call our dull."

"OMFFG spectrum?" I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN STEVEN HAWKINGS EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and G'Arenr asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday maebl and Wirt tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said G'arnet.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's Bill Will.I.AM ihaveahugePenis Cipher way what's yours?"

"Bobby." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf dipper you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, SUZU flew in on his black seks doll looking worried. "OMFG BILL U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a WEEB or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a WEEB.SUZU plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

Bobby gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes trisezual). Suzu kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Shartzu?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said.

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Suzu's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Dipper?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Onion." she anserred happily. Well anyway Dipp and Cumion came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. onon was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Iggy. Diper was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black JB t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. C'larnt was going 2 da concert wif Amathyst. Amythyt used to be called Ken but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were Whorepires. They dyed in a car crash. ken converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and purple hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Amathyst now. Well anyway we al went 2 Dippers black Mercy-seks doll (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucifear gave him. We did pocky, pop rockz and grass. Dipper and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking weebs. We soon got there….I gapsed.

that singer guy was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We twerked 2 Castle of Glass and sum odder songz. Sudenly sunger gi polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't singer guy at all! It was an ugly weeeb man wif piggy nose and piggy eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Diresser. Dragon and I came. It was….Gideon and da Unded!

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Bill, I told u to kill Will. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Dresser!"

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his eterotic sex toy. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'Ashley Tisdale' on da back. He shotted a spel and giden ran away. It was…Stermin!

 

**THEN EVERYONE HAD A HUGE ORGY AND DIED**

  
**THE END**   


  
  



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